Through the past few weeks, losing my dog, the shooting in Orlando, and reading through Jeremiah & Psalms, I've been reminded again of the importance of lamenting. So this is a short post tonight as I learn to process it all, simply the words of a beautiful lament in the Psalms that follows the pattern of crying out in honest bluntness, and ending in a re-preaching of truth to your own soul.
I'm in much the same place as I was two weeks ago in learning to understand and accept God's unchanging love for me. I had a simple little ring made with a tiny paw print on the outside, and the words "I'll always love you" on the inside to remember my Boo. Even tonight at church, I found myself battling to believe that God supported me in this grief; I wondered bewilderedly whether I was chaining myself with emotion that was uncalled for. I started hearing a voice telling me that even this little ring was taking my focus away from more important things. I didn't know where the voice was coming from. In the midst of the music - whatever song it was - I had to fight to pull Scripture and truth to mind: what does God really say? And then I realized that His words were already inscribed inside that ring: "I'll always love you." I thought I'd written those words from me to my dog, but only then realized that before it all God was writing them from Him to me. I told the devil to get out, get away from me, then and there. I am loved. And I am loved by a God who walks with us when we have to re-learn the same lesson over and over again. I'm loved by a God who draws near to the broken-hearted. I'm loved by a God who answers the laments of confused, bewildered people. So even if I feel like I'm in verse 1 of Psalm 13, I know I can preach the truth of verses 5-6.