seeing Him

Today at church, one of the dads was talking about how we should be so eager to love people and lead them to Christ. He was talking about how one of the first disciples, Andrew, was so excited that he ran to tell his brother, Peter.

"Andrew, Simon Peter's brother, was one of the two who heard what John had said and who had followed Jesus. The first thing Andrew did was to find his brother Simon and tell him, 'We have found the Messiah,' (that is, the Christ). And he brought him to Jesus." ~John 1:40-42

Then, Mr. P used an illustration, saying, "What if I had Jesus right here, and I said," he pointed at me, "'Hey Shelby! I have found Jesus! Come on, come and meet Him right here!"

My heart started beating faster right then, surprising me. I swallowed. I was so overwhelmed by even the thought of it. If Jesus were right there.

But then I realized, I have no idea what I would even do! Like the song "I Can Only Imagine," says, "Will I dance for you Jesus, or in awe of you be still? Will I stand in your presence, or to my knees will I fall? Will I sing hallelujah? Will I be able to speak at all?" If Jesus walked in the door, I have no idea how I would respond. I think I would fall at His feet, not because it seems the Biblical thing to do, but just because... He is the One who loves my soul. Who died for me, even when I was in darkness. Oh... these words do nothing to come close to it. Can you imagine?! If Jesus stood right there. Think about it. I know I wouldn't be able to speak. I wouldn't be able to let go of Him. I wouldn't be able to leave His side.

And then I remembered. I remembered that Jesus is with me. Such a basic, Sunday-school truth, yet so, so profound and beautiful. So often forgotten. So often underestimated.

Jesus is with me.

Right now.

It makes my stomach go in knots. And at the same time, it leaves me so less overwhelmed than I should be. Can I even grasp the fact that every minute of my day, He is there with me?

Do I live like that? Do I trust Him like that? Do pray like that?

Oh God, oh Jesus, I am so unworthy of this. We are all so unworthy of Your dedicated, unconditional, never-ending love. But it can still be so hard for me to live like this. Help me as I continue to live by faith, and not by sight. 

And oh, how I am so eager for that day when I begin eternity and see your face. I can't comprehend or imagine what it will be like. I think of Jimmy, that he has been there for six months today. Six months, yet even the first day was beyond belief. We long for You, Jesus. 

 I want to live like I'm seeing You. 



  1. I thought you ought to know, I keep this post in my bookmarks bar. Sometimes I open it on purpose, other times on accident, but it always serves to refocus me. Thank you, Shelby.


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