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my monastery heart

I went to the Abbey again this week, with a sister this time.

I wanted the peacefulness, the stillness, the view from the mountain down into the valley. The ability to step away from everything for a moment.

It is beautiful.

I sat, breathing in the morning air, gazing out over the countryside, listening for God, quieting the mind, waiting for my heart to catch up with my body.

And my thoughts came back to the questions that have been following me like a shadow for a while, questions around myself, my heart, my soul, my emotions. Like Why are my feelings so muted lately? Why don't I let many people in? Why do I feel more disciplined than ever and yet still distant? 

I sat and breathed with a furrowed brow.

And in a still, small thought came the phrase, I've turned my heart into a monastery.

What?

But I started to think about it.

In so many ways, I have turned my heart into a monastery.

My heart, like the monastery, is known as a peaceful place, generally uninterrupted by the cha…

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