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i give you control

I am learning so much. 

Too often lately it has felt like I'm getting nowhere, alone on my knees in my room, trying to hard to hear God that all I hear are my own thoughts pounding louder and louder. 

So much of life lately has felt like a desert. Dry and endless. 

I asked a friend just a couple of days ago, "Please pray that I continue seeking and finding God, true God, not manufacturing any experience of God on my own to try to cover for him." Sometimes it feels like all my logic, doctrine, theology, and knowledge turns into a giant tug-of-war in my head as I try to fashion it all into a God-catcher. 

But again and again I hear and feel Him urging me to just let go. Surrender. Cease striving. Trust. Hand over control. 

I randomly decided to find some new music this week (which is so incredibly rare that my "new music" is probably the old stuff by now). I searched one of my favorite artists, Tenth Avenue North, and listened to this song because the title is "C…

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